The High Orbit Holiday Special is a full episode of Matthew’s not-quite-dead-yet podcast, High Orbit, complete with 5 new recordings of classic Christmas favorites and brand new original music. Yes, even robot first officer Prodo-1 sings! All 5 songs are included as part of the show and as uninterrupted, talk-free singles.

Download audio file (HOHS.mp3)
The High Orbit Holiday Special – 68.7MB MP3
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(Also available as individual tracks.) – 103.6 MB ZIP
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Lyrics available at www.matthewebel.com/music

Download audio file (An%20Ordinary%20Guy.mp3)
An Ordinary Guy – 5.5MB MP3
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Lyrics:

So here’s a glimpse of my perception:
I think you’re way above my station,
but I can’t shake my intention
to make a shameless proposition.
But if I try to take some action
I just might meet your satisfaction
which could lead to some affection
which might lead to an erection

of some new substantial section
of my segmented attention.
So I feel that I should mention
I’m ’bout due for some expansion.
So I’ll try to find some passion,
but my software keeps on crashin’.
I lock up fast and then I’m
staring at your ass and I…

I’m just an ordinary guy-
I pay my bills on time.
I take my pills with wine.
I’m just an ordinary guy-
Recycle all my trash.
I got my secret stash
of pornos, grass, and cash.
I’m just an ordinary guy.

I see you in the corner texting.
I hope my words don’t come out vexing,
and this may sound a bit perplexing:
The way you hold that phone is sexy.
I might have overstepped my boundary,
but I swear you’ll be glad you found me.
I sound astounded ’cause you seem chic,
and yet you might just be my dream geek.

So how ’bout this, we meet at your place?
‘Cause mine’s running out of floor space.
My Roomba seems to have been misplaced
and now it’s uglier than MySpace
in my apartment, but that’s all right.
We could just stay up ’til daylight.
We’ll grab a bite and then I’ll
Twitter you all night ’cause I…

I’m just an ordinary guy-
I love my cat and dog.
I love it when I’m flogged.
I’m just an ordinary guy-
I watch football with my friends.
I got Church I don’t attend.
I steal the restaurant’s pen.
I’m just an ordinary guy.

(Instrumental)

Well I’m just an ordinary guy-
I catch the morning train.
I curse to ease the pain.
Recycle all my trash.
I watch Dancing With The Stars.
I hate going to bars
and I own an ugly car.
I’m just an ordinary guy.

I always sucked at math.
I hate The Grapes of Wrath.
I’m not a psychopath.
I’m just an ordinary guy.
I get sick when I fly.
I won’t admit I cry,
and I’ll love you ’til I die.
I’m just an ordinary guy.

Download audio file (A%20Song%20For%20My%20Subscribers%20-%20Live.mp3)
A Song for My Subscribers – Live – 5.9MB MP3
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Lyrics:

This is a song for my subscribers,
I don’t treat them well at all.
I’d like to write them all hit songs
but this month I dropped the ball.

So this is the song for my subscribers.
This is a song for my subscribers.

Procrastination is the game
that I kept playing this July.
I guess I could say that I was on tour,
but we all know that’s a lie.

(Audience Harassment)

Maybe my cat ate my homework,
maybe my studio caught on fire,
maybe I was in a coma,
maybe I’m a rotten liar.

Maybe I was just too lazy,
maybe I am just a jerk,
I’m just glad that when I got here
I could put you all to work.

So this is the song for my subscribers.
This is a song for my subscribers.

This is a song for my subscribers.
That was the song for my subscribers.

I’ve never been punched in the face. I’m pretty sure this is what it’d be like.

Download audio file (Concussion.mp3)
Concussion – 4.8MB MP3
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Lyrics:

I was at the pearly gates today
but Saint Peter said I wasn’t late.
I was just asleep
and drooling at your feet.
Someone turned the lights out on the scene.
People gathered round to stare at me.

All the doctors say that I’ll be fine
and I’ll believe them when my eyes align
and my pounding skull
goes back to feeling dull.
I feel like I’m hung over from cheap wine.
I’m just glad I didn’t break my spine.

Last night at the bar I learned to fly-
only backwards, though, I don’t know why.
Although I have a hunch:
you beat me to the punch.
And now my memory’s bruised just like my eye.
I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.

I made jokes about a one-night stand,
but the punchline wasn’t all that grand.
So I kissed your hand
much faster than I planned.
(Ugh.)

When I woke up I saw everything.
In my head I saw your wedding ring
that you showed to me
at a rapid speed.
Now that I’m awake it starts to sting.
You left an impression on me.

If you have, however, and you have ever played an Engineer for more than 5 minutes, this is a tune you’ll be able to sympathize with. For once Matthew has forgone the piano entirely for a Johnny Cash-inspired ballad dedicated to the heartless cretins that are the Spies.

This song is also going to be the subject of a new contest soon, so stay tuned!

Download audio file (I%20Blame%20The%20Spy.mp3)
I Blame The Spy – 4.3MB MP3
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Lyrics:

Why did you have to stab me?
I’m only doing my job
to keep my people movin’
and standing by the bomb.

My turrets are unhappy,
they bow their head in shame.
The sappers are so heavy,
and I know who to blame.

I blame the Spy-
That dirty, low, back-stabbin’ guy.
He flicked his butt right in my eye,
he’d make a Scottish cyclops cry.
I blame the Spy.

I’m battered, bruised, and bleedin’,
but help is on the way.
Then suddenly my Medic
has stabbed me in the face.

Seems someone tried to warn me
by lighting him on fire,
but really who could blame me?
My circumstance was dire.

I blame the spy.
Won’t someone swat him like a fly?
That tabarnak I wish he’d die,
I’ll make him kiss his ass goodbye.
I blame the Spy.

And like a Wall Street banker
he took everything I had.
Like diving with an anchor
it’s enough to drive me mad.

Nailing him’s a Demo’s pipe dream
or a soldier’s launching pad,
but now that he’s on my team
maybe this guy’s not that bad…
…nope, screw him.

I blame the Spies.
Invisible to untrained eyes.
A fitting end I can’t devise,
he’s even ugly in disguise.
I blame the Spies.
I blame the Spies.

Download audio file (Twitter%20Me%20Gently.mp3)
Twitter Me Gently – 5.1MB MP3
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Lyrics:

Twitter me gently, twitter me sweet.
I’ll follow you anywhere you tweet.
The system is fragile, the birds are weak.
So twitter me gently and I’ll be complete.

Of all the characters that I’ve seen
I love yours the most.
140 ways to see
if you like my post.
Refresh me when I’m buried
in endless mail.
Sometimes it feels like
I’m lifting a whale.

Don’t be protective-
you know I care.
I won’t ever tell you
about my new FREE* Macbook Air.
Message me directly,
talk @me too.
Just tweet me truly-
is that the real you?

Matthew Ebel:
When I saw the Dow fall about 22 million points in one day, I had this image of bankers tossing themselves from their windows in New York. I imagined a song where a young man like me takes a stroll through the park, marveling at the beautiful leaves or raindrops that drift gracefully to the ground. Only instead of raindrops, it’s guys and girls with briefcases. I wonder what kind of umbrella you’d need for that kind of fallout…

Download audio file (Its%20Raining%20Bankers.mp3)
It’s Raining Bankers – 4.5MB MP3
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Lyrics:

Seems it’s happening again
when the weather turns on Wall Street.
As the year draws to an end
you can hear them like a heartbeat
as they pound the pavement,
one by one,
from on high they’re heading down.
It’s raining bankers in my town.

You would think they grow on trees;
they’re everywhere, the air is thick,
and as each one takes their leave
from a tower made of steel and brick
it would seem a golden parachute
doesn’t help to slow you down.
So it’s raining bankers all around.

La da dee dee da da daaa…

It’s a hurricane of pinstripe suits
and leather attach?©s.
It’s raining bankers everyday.

Maybe I could catch a few
on a cushion of internal revenue.
Though I spent my money wisely,
still it’s fun to hear them whine,
“will someone bail us out this time? (Please?)”

So I stand and speculate-
Maybe I should just rephrase that…
How ’bout this, I contemplate (yeah, that’s better)
how we’re going through this phase that
everybody knows ain’t permanent.
But still the Dow is down,
so it’s raining bankers in my town.